hollyslowly: H:LotS; Kellerman looks out at the water. Text: "Like nails in my feet." (On days like this I would just disappear)
[personal profile] hollyslowly
Snowed in since Friday -- I've finished a decent book and a terrible one, baked and consumed too many bagels, and worn pajamas and fuzzy socks almost exclusively.

I began waking up at 6:30 in the mornings about two years ago as kind of an anticipatory decompression measure. I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person, but my boss and one of my two coworkers are. Before, I was rolling out of bed at 7:30, showering, and heading out. But as irritating as I find people in general, they are immeasurably worse when I have only been awake for 45 minutes and am already being asked how I feel.

So now I get up early. I have a shower. I make coffee in my fancy little moka pot, I have breakfast, I read the news or a book. I am a fully-functioning human by the time I arrive at my office at a quarter after 8. This system works so well for me that I tend to keep it up on the weekends as well, minus the office bit; I even did it at the beach this summer.

Something about the snow, though, reminded me of being a kid and sleeping in on a cancelled school day, even though I don't work on weekends anymore, so I disabled my regular alarm and woke up around 9am both yesterday and today and just kind of quietly existed. Removing the possibility of going anywhere or seeing anyone almost entirely dissipated my regular anxiety around feeling like I have to be going somewhere or seeing someone, and while I was washing dishes a few hours ago, I found myself thinking how nice it was, just to be alone, not to feel responsible for anything other than breathing. I might be more stressed out, on the average, than I realized. Maybe it's just recovery from the holidays, with the non-stop closeness of family and friends. I have been scolded so often for being introverted that I have a public mask - as everyone does - that is cheery, open, and friendly. But also apparently quite heavy.

I will be glad to see people again tomorrow, I guess, if the roads are clear. Another day off and I might go a bit stir crazy.

Date: 2017-01-09 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

We have been snowed in a weekend. Hoping you don't go all work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

Date: 2017-01-09 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I read ANOTHER book between writing this post and writing this comment. I didn't even shower today. Not quite sure about work tomorrow; I don't think it's getting above freezing. I think my cat is tired of my company.

Date: 2017-01-09 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

Reading anything of significant length has been really hard for me since whatever is wrong with my brain started. I hate it so much.

Date: 2017-01-09 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I hate that. I don't write anymore. This is some fucked up Gift of the Magi shit, my friend.

Date: 2017-01-10 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
I diiiiiid wonder (gratefully) why you were active on LJ again :D

Date: 2017-01-11 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
It was my only contact with the outside world! Well, that and a 800 page book about a mystic arctic disaster. I have been trying to use LJ more frequently in the past few months! I didn't realize how much I missed it.

Date: 2017-01-11 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
I think because I almost cut my teeth on this (well, UBB's and HORRIBLE threaded forums) it's still my favourite platform type for communication. Less overwhelming than fuckbook and twitter and so on.

Date: 2017-01-11 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Definitely. I've had a LiveJournal since I was in. . . middle school, I think, over 15 years. Granted, I have deleted a lot (a lookout) of entries, but it's still where I keep all my stuff! Plus I deleted Twitter and Instagram, and I'd delete FB if I didn't have to maintain my organization's page.

Date: 2017-01-11 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
I have most things on mega lockdown (except instagram, which I LOVE because basically it's like blowing a validation whistle every so often. GAYS COME AND TELL ME I AM PRETTY. Good, now fuck off.) I've had A livejournal since 2001. So yeah. feestbump.

Date: 2017-01-11 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com

Date: 2017-01-11 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
Fruit tea or milk tea (often cold) and sometimes ordinary tea, but with either tapoica pearls or "boba" in. Boba are ... like big fish eggs, but instead of fish they're a thin vegan-gelatin skin that bursts in your mouth and in the middle there is coloured syrup. I love them.

Date: 2017-01-11 01:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com

Whoa. That sounds intimidating.

Date: 2017-01-11 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
It enables you to make disgusting noises as you slurp them through a big fat straw, I love it.

Date: 2017-01-11 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Is now a good time to admit I don't know what tapioca is?
(deleted comment)

Date: 2017-01-11 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
It's made from yuca root or sago or cassava or whatever (has a lot of names). Tapioca pearls aren't much like any of the other forms though. They're usually black and very chewy, slightly glutinous on the outside.

Date: 2017-01-11 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
And it goes in tea? This sounds very curious.

Am I a bad citizen for wishing this damn farewell address were already over with, because if so I am.

Date: 2017-01-11 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
It goes in the bottom of the drink! And the balls are about ... well, frogspawn-sized, I would say.

I guess it also goes in the top if you're nasty.

Listen I'm just living on the whole Pissgate thing at the moment. WHAT address etc

Date: 2017-01-11 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
It looks bizarre, but I will trust your judgment on this and give it a try at the next opportunity.

What is Pissgate?? I am. . . afraid to Google.

Date: 2017-01-11 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
Well if you don't like it you don't like it!


Detailed Reports Allege President-Elect Donald Trump Hired Prostitutes To Pee on a Hotel Bed

Date: 2017-01-11 02:44 am (UTC)


hollyslowly: TOS; Kirk looking down, Spock looking at Kirk. (Default)

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