hollyslowly: The Losers; Roque detonates a thing. (For a revenge driven conspiracy nut)
[personal profile] hollyslowly
Internet dating remains bizarre. Catching up to my previous entry, the Tinder guy was a sweetheart boat mechanic who looked too startled to argue when I said that I would pay for myself. Then there was an unpleasant guy from OkCupid who, after ascertaining that I don't play video games, said, "This will probably go right over your head, then," and explained how if you die in this game he was playing you had to go all the way back to the start. He also didn't care about Princess Leia and was a surprise kisser, though at least there was no tongue. :/ Fortunately, he lives about 90 minutes away, so we met at a city in the middle, which has a Target, which is the only place that carries the tea I'm obsessed with. So, eh.

Met another guy off OkCupid whose opening salvo was, "I like your taste in books." (Panty dropper.) We've gotten together a couple of times for drinks and walks, and we text a lot (every day since we met); I can't quite determine if he's interested in me or if he's just trying to make new friends, because he just moved to town and is going crazy from boredom. No moves have been made. In "This is a small town" news, the first time we met, my friend Sara's husband was at the bar with his family, which I found comforting -- like if this goes SUPER POORLY, at least Shawn is here for backup. When I ran into them on the Greenway yesterday, he said he clocked the guy walking me to my car and waited to make sure he came back. Good dude. We're going to go for a hike later this week, so if nothing else at least I have a hiking buddy now. A stupid cute one. Argh.

Last week, I went to an after-hours meeting of our substance abuse/recovery advocacy coalition that lasted from 5:30 to 7:30. I'm not a content expert, I just show up because I care about creating a community where folks can recover from addiction, both because of the substance abuse in my family and because I spent all of my college years self-medicating my untreated depression with alcohol. There was a discussion panel with some community members who had experience with addiction or the treatment process in our county, and one of them is a lawyer around my age I've met a couple of times. I ran into him on my walk yesterday evening and we had a nice chat; his mom is actually the owner of the bookstore where I spent all the money I made at my first job. It's always nice to meet other Democrats here, and he jokingly gave me a lot of shit, which is a quality I like in my friends, so hopefully we can hang out again sometime.

A couple of weeks ago, my aunt told Shannon and me that our uncle, who lived with our grandmother, had said that if we wanted anything of hers, we needed to get it soon, because he was going to start throwing things out. I don't know if that's actually how he phrased it or just how she heard it, because they have a contentious relationship, but it was very upsetting to both of us. I tried really hard not to dwell on it, but I was not entirely successful. Anyway, Shannon and Max came back down this weekend and we spent six hours cleaning out Grandma's bedroom. It fucking sucked. My aunt needs a hip replacement but won't be approved for one unless she can lose weight, so Shannon and I did a lot of the moving and packing. We both took some clothes and little things from her purse; Shannon took some of the art hanging in her room and I have her lifetime membership card to the National Gardening Club in my wallet now. Our junkie cousin (aunt's daughter) showed up about five hours in, after we had done all the hard shit, to claim every piece of jewelry our Grandma had.

When my maternal grandmother passed away, it took us a year to go through her jewelry. I have a ring of hers that I wear all the time, and it's important to me because I have memories of her wearing it. My paternal grandmother never wore jewelry, because she was always elbow-deep in dirt somewhere making green things grow. So I am okay with not having any of that stuff, truly, but I am so upset over the way our cousin did this. My mom commented that she was just there to go shopping. And she started fighting with her mother almost as soon as she walked in the door. God, she is exhausting. In the car on the way home, my aunt was crying and asking if "[cousin] had snatched everything [I] wanted," and all I could do was tell her not to worry about it. She knows her kid is an asshole. I say "kid"; this bitch will be 31 this year. I just hope she doesn't sell Grandma's stuff.

Prior to the shittiness of going through our Grandma's stuff, Shannon and I went to the Greenway, and I ran a fucking mile! I have not done that since high school. It was awesome. I felt awesome after doing it. I might need to get running shoes.

I knew that this weekend would suck, so last Wednesday or Thursday I asked Heather if I could take today off as a mental health day, which she had no problem with. She is a good person and a good boss; she just drives me fucking nuts on the regular. I gave myself the little gift of sleeping thirty minutes later than normal, then did some stretching and drove to the state park about half an hour from my apartment, Stone Mountain. The weather today looked like something out of a horror movie, fog and drizzly rain, and I didn't see another human soul while I was up there. I love that hike and I've done it a couple of times, but only in nice bright weather. The last time I was there, when I got to the summit I could see for miles; today it looked like this. I felt like the only person on earth. I hadn't been up there since they did a controlled burn earlier this year; a lot of the trees have scorched trunks, so parts of the trail were quite eery.

A few weeks ago I watched the PBS documentary "Storm Over Everest," about the 1996 climbing disaster, which concluded with this quote: "The mountain doesn't care whether we're here or not. It doesn't compete with us. It isn't burdened by our hopes and dreams. Everything it means to us is only what we bring to it."

When I got back, I invited OkCupid guy to lunch and chatted with him a bit - part of my confusion is that I initiate all our get-togethers - then spent two hours at the car shop getting my brakes serviced while it monsooned outside. Came home and failed at napping, so I caught up on chores I ignored yesterday in favor of beautiful weather, then made bread. Now I'm just waiting for the damn laundry to finish so I can put sheets back on my bed and go to sleep.

Weird Internet stuffs. Complicated family stuffs. Running shoes. That's where I'm at right now.

Date: 2017-04-04 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
Sorry about the family drama. I know from that, and I understand that it's extra infuriating because you can't disconnect yourself from that person. You're right to be upset, and I'm sorry she upset everyone so much by being completely awful.

Then there was an unpleasant guy from OkCupid who, after ascertaining that I don't play video games, said, "This will probably go right over your head, then,"

Okay, you did not tell me that part. I probably would have eviscerated him right there (which may be a factor in why I'm going to die alone, but I would rather have a propensity for emotional eruptions than put up with that mouthbreather bullshit. God, did he have a neckbeard? I am picturing a neckbeard.)

I wish many good things for you in the romance department. And every other department.

Date: 2017-04-04 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
She's a human trash fire, Carly. I can't remember if I wrote about this or not, but a day or two before Grandma died, I was in the waiting room with my mom to give one of Grandma's siblings some private time with her, and mom was just very sadly talking about how [cousin] hadn't always been like this, and I said, "If she ever sobers up, she's going to regret this." I have realized that I can't carry the emotional weight of regret for her. I would just deeply like not to see her ever again. Less egregiously, she always has her tits out around my sister's boyfriend, and likes to pretend that they have inside jokes that no one else gets. Max always recounts this to us in a slightly horrified tone.

He didn't have a neckbeard, but he did have a part down the middle of his bangs, like a seventh grader. Everything about that date was stupid. I have no idea why he wanted to see me again. Did I tell you he thought Jessica Jones was shitty? BECAUSE HE THOUGHT JESSICA JONES WAS SHITTY.

THIS DEPARTMENT IS WEIRD. I DON'T KNOW THE FILING SYSTEM. I'm chatting with OkCupid guy right now about the Dresden Files and Constantine. Carly, next week he's getting GLASSES. I may or may not be low-key constantly praying to the fake lord that I get to see him in glasses.

Date: 2017-04-04 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
I have realized that I can't carry the emotional weight of regret for her. I would just deeply like not to see her ever again.

That's a really good realization. Do your own time. (Also, I had a dream last night that I was watching American Gods in a movie theater, and it was weird and kinda divorced from the book, but still really interesting, and when I woke up I was sad it wasn't time yet.)

he did have a part down the middle of his bangs

OMG like Shawn on Boy Meets World? Because that was 25 years ago, and it's another life choice he needs to rethink. Was he wearing a pucca shell necklace? Ughhhhhh why do these people even exist?

Girl, get that OkCupid guy and his sexy nerd thing. Get you some.

Date: 2017-04-04 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Yes, exactly. Do your own time. On a lighter note, I saw from the American Gods FB page that it might already have been picked up for a season 2? I didn't investigate because I want to keep hope alive.

No pucca shell necklace THAT I COULD SEE. Another one of those things I didn't investigate too closely.

I. AM. TRYING. But my one move - MY ONE MOVE - is making people laugh. Flirt game weak.

Date: 2017-04-04 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
That "do your own time" line has helped me through a lot of mostly horrible job-related tough shit. Thanks, Shadow!

I think the season two thing is a real thing. Thank you, Atheismo!

Hey, humor is an excellent weapon. My major flirting problem is that I have an almost total inability to tell when people are flirting with me. My friends and I will leave somewhere, and one of them will hiss at me, "She was cute, and she liked you! Why didn't you flirt back?" and I'm always like, "Wait, what? She liked me? There was flirting? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS WITCHCRAFT"

Date: 2017-04-04 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I clung to it when I worked at the call center. Also, alcohol.

I also have this problem. I have a lot of dating-related problems, as it turns out. Oh well. At least I have clean sheets.

Date: 2017-04-04 08:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

Ah yes, alcohol. Apparently I cannot drink at all anymore. I had one liqueur chocolate (which is like, one-third of a shot) on my brother's birthday, and my migraine the next day was even more excruciating than normal. I've always gotten drunk-related migraines, but GODDAMN that's ridiculous.


My mom has been working at a call center for around three years, and she hates it more by the day. Any tips? She wants to find another job, but it'll be next to impossible for her to find one that pays this well, because she never went to college and the economy is shit.


You will find your mate. You are, for your date-related problems, genuinely wonderful and the moment a boy you can stand catches onto that, you will have the forever love and get many cats and never leave the house. Or whatever people with Serious Relationships do. How should I know?

Date: 2017-04-04 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I'm a total lightweight now, which I'm going to blame on Wellbutrin, and not the fact that the only thing I drink now is wine, and intermittently at that. I haven't done shots since last St. Patrick's Day (pub crawl) and I may never do them again.

I only lasted a year and a half there, and by the time I left I was having explicit fantasies about setting my desk on fire; I don't know how helpful I can be here. I did 4 10-hour shifts a week, so whenever I could, I would leave for lunch. Get up and walk around as much as possible on your breaks. The one I worked for monitored Internet activity and had most popular sites blocked, so I read a lot of books.

The call center is my county's second largest employer and they just laid off a few hundred people. It was in waves, and every time it would make the front page of the paper; a week after the last round, the front page story was about this call center/store making a big donation to one of our schools. Damage control, I suppose.

Many cats + never leaving the house might be in the cards anyway, unless I can train Young Bernstein to go on hikes with me. Thank you, bb <3

Date: 2017-04-04 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
That "do your own time" line has helped me through a lot of mostly horrible job-related tough shit. Thanks, Shadow!

I think the season two thing is a real thing. Thank you, Atheismo!

Hey, humor is an excellent weapon. My major flirting problem is that I have an almost total inability to tell when people are flirting with me. My friends and I will leave somewhere, and one of them will hiss at me, "She was cute, and she liked you! Why didn't you flirt back?" and I'm always like, "Wait, what? She liked me? There was flirting? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS WITCHCRAFT"

Date: 2017-04-05 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
That "do your own time" line has helped me through a lot of mostly horrible job-related tough shit. Thanks, Shadow!

I think the season two thing is a real thing. Thank you, Atheismo!

Hey, humor is an excellent weapon. My major flirting problem is that I have an almost total inability to tell when people are flirting with me. My friends and I will leave somewhere, and one of them will hiss at me, "She was cute, and she liked you! Why didn't you flirt back?" and I'm always like, "Wait, what? She liked me? There was flirting? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS WITCHCRAFT"

Date: 2017-04-04 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com
Where the hell do you live again? Uh. Just...curious.

Date: 2017-04-04 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
LOL! The wilds of Western North Carolina. Why??

Date: 2017-04-04 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com
My kid works for an airlines now. I get free flights. I would love to meet all the LJ people I would love to uh, meet. Do you live near Carly? (NOT that I am pushing a meeting on you if it's not your thang.)

Date: 2017-04-04 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
OMG, I would love to meet you! That seems slightly weird to say after knowing you for so long, haha. I think Carly and I are about 4 hours away from each other now? Ooh, maybe we could all three get together and my brain could explode from happiness.

Date: 2017-04-04 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com
Dude. THAT WOULD ROCK.

It would likely have to be the summer-ish. June- August at some point?

Date: 2017-04-04 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] carlyinrome!! Look at this thread!!

Yeah, that would work for me! I've got a family vacation planned for June 10-17, and there's usually a day-long conference I have to go to in mid August, but otherwise yes! Absolutely!

Date: 2017-04-04 04:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com
Go poke her again. That sounded perverted.

Do you have a couch I can crash on or similar?

Date: 2017-04-04 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Yep, I'm a proud couch owner. My parents might also have an air mattress I can borrow for your reclining pleasure. Oh, and a cat, to sit on you while you sleep.
Edited Date: 2017-04-04 04:45 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-04 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com
All right now that cat better really sit on me or I'll be sad you lied.

Date: 2017-04-04 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
That is a guarantee, good buddy.

Date: 2017-04-04 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

ALSO. The internet says I am 3 1/2 hours away from you, and through minor investigation I have discovered that Asheville is almost exactly between us (1 hour 54 minutes for me and 1 hour 50 minutes for you; I am furious that you are closer. :P) I am absolutely and unreservedly willing to drive to you, but if your city is like my city there's fuckall to do here and nothing good to eat, and I hear Asheville has...features.


Also, for planning reasons, I have things


Friday, June 2nd
Saturday, July 8th
Saturday, July 29th


and then literally nothing because I have no life, I just happen to have tickets to things on these dates because someone else bought them for me and prodded me to go. (Not that I don't want to, because I do; I only mention this because I basically just Boo Radley around this place because, again, no life except doctor's appointments and being sick. It's a glamorous life.)

Date: 2017-04-04 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

Update: Holy CRAP, hotels in Asheville are ridic expensive. Damn white people. Reevaluate.

Date: 2017-04-04 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Asheville is stupidly expensive. My sister lives there, but she only has one guest room. Not helpful for planning purposes.

Date: 2017-04-04 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
I mean, I'll definitely shell out if that's what we want to do... Maybe we can find a cheaper one not quite in Asheville but on the outskirts like the last time I visited Savannah? (I wouldn't do that again, but mostly it's because I was there with my grandmother and I kept having to drive her back and forth 30 minutes each way because she was bored or tired or needed to watch FOX News or some shit. But it was waaaaaaay cheaper than staying inside the city limits.)

Date: 2017-04-05 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
That's a good idea! I'll ask Shannon and see if she or her peeps know of a cheaper place to stay NEAR Asheville.

Date: 2017-04-05 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
Yes, excellent. We can work this out! We can have a grownup, Sex and the City-type girl's vacay with a collection of my favorite people, YES.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

Date: 2017-04-04 11:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
There is legit nothing to do here at all ever, and Asheville is delightful. Good call. I'm willing to drive 2 minutes further if it will please you. :D

What are your tickets for? What are you doing? Where are you going? Who will be there and how can we get in touch with them? (This is how my parents act when I tell them I'm off on one of my solo jaunts. I sent them the picture from the summit yesterday and said I was the only person around, and my mom replied, "ARE YOU TRYING TO WORRY ME???")

(It sounds glamorous. I'm picturing you as a 1930's silver screen star, in a dramatic silk dressing gown and one of those plastic cigarette holders.)

Date: 2017-04-04 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
Omigosh, your mother is precious. Mine would be reminding me how likely I was to be raped or murdered alone in the wilderness.

Okay! In order: I am going to the Broadway traveling tour of Dirty Dancing, a double header of the usmnt and Germany and France and England (maybe?) though I forget who's playing whom, and and Manchester City (MY BOYS) playing Tottenham Hotspur on their US tour. It's gonna be fun on the bun.

Date: 2017-04-05 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
So many soccer things! One thing I miss about not having cable is the ability to randomly catch a soccer or basketball game. I guess I could go to a bar to watch it, but. People.

Date: 2017-04-05 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
My dad has NBCSN and FS1+2, so we have ALL the soccer, including Premier League. (And Bundesliga, which frankly I don't care for, but we have it.) But Holly, pubs. They are dark and have soccer AND alcohol, and there is no extra noise or encouraged camaraderie.

Basketball I can't help you with. You'll have to go to a sports bar, which is a collection of some of the worst parts of humanity.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I LOVE PUBS. And only partly because they make me feel like Angel. But there are no pubs here. BUT. When you are here, I can take you to my favorite bar (one of two in town where you are not likely to be stabbed)!

Date: 2017-04-04 08:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com

Yes yes yes yes yes! That would be 900 kinds of amazing! You are both terribly loved and important to my life.


(I don't know whether you know this, D, but Holly and I have gotten together several times, so I'm reasonably sure she will allow me in her state1.)


1. Just kidding, Holly. I've already been to your state, and without your permission! I just haven't driven to visit you because I've always been on the way to somewhere else and because I'm a horrible friend who makes you come all the way to Savannah2and then never makes the drive to your place I'm sorrrrrrry.


2. Okay, but real talk, Savannah is awesome, and I miss it a lot.

Edited Date: 2017-04-04 08:10 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-04 11:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
How dare you disturb my borders without my written consent? Good heavens.

Girl, I am serious about us getting together for American Godsing. I will happily come to K-ville, because I like visiting strange places (and strange people -- that'd be you :P), but you are super duper always welcome to hang out on my couch. There is not a lot by way of entertainment here unless you are a big fan of nature, but there is a nearby city with cool day trips and such, as well as the used book store I can never spend under an hour in.

Savannah <3

Date: 2017-04-04 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
Yes, I want to! I would invite you here, because I adore you, but I live with my parents so that's not very cool. (But I do have a Kif...) Let's do planning things.

Date: 2017-04-05 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Kiiiiiiif. Sadly, I feel like since I narced on one of my neighbors for having a dog that never shut up (it woke me up CONSTANTLY; one day I got home from work at 5:30 and it didn't stop barking until midnight) that I am unable to extend an invitation to the boys. :( EVEN THOUGH I LOVE THEM.

Date: 2017-04-05 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carlyinrome.livejournal.com
Yeah, I knew that since your landlord vetoed your request for a canine roommate, the boys would not be welcome. Their feelings are hurt, but they'll get over it.

Also: I told my parents I may be going up to see you for the American Gods premier, and we're adamant that you are welcome here at any time, so that is an option.

Date: 2017-04-06 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
I will be their crazy aunt and send them gifts to make up for my absence in their lives.

Oh, that is awesome as well! I'd love to visit Tennessee. I have just been reminded that my family is making our annual trek to Grandfather Mountain the weekend of the actual premier, because residents of our county get in for $3 instead of $24 for the month of April, so what about the weekend after? Depending on when you want to get here, I can take the following Monday off so we can have a three day weekend!

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Holly

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