hollyslowly: BtVS; Buffy holds Angel, Angel smiles up at her. (When is a monster not a monster?)
Now entering hour three of categorizing my purchases and expenses for 2015 to try to make a grown-up budget for next year. For years, it's been a huge joke in my family, how tight/frugal I am, and it's true! I pinched pennies and wore the same pair of sneakers for seven years, because I was putting all my money into my loan payments. But when I was closing in on paying off my student loans, I definitely noticed loosening the reins with my spending, and I need to take them back in.

I don't know things about horses; I hope that metaphor was sound. You may be pleased to learn that I recently purchased two new pairs of sneakers. My mother certainly was.

It was also a pretty good excuse to indulge in one of my favorite obsessive activities, color coding. I bought a pack of magic markers, printed out all my credit card and bank statements for the past year, and color coded each transaction. While wearing a sweater and drinking hot tea. I believe I have crossed over into that final frontier, old-as-balls. I'm entering all of them into a Google spreadsheet, just in case there was any financial information about my life they were missing, so I can figure out how much I'm spending, on average. I had some expensive car repairs and a bridesmaid dress to account for this summer, which I think is artificially inflating my monthly totals. I'll adjust for that in the 2016 budget.

A few days ago, I read the first Rivers of London novel, which Goodreads insists on cataloging as "Midnight Riot," what the hell? It was brilliant; I'm about halfway through the second novel, which is still pretty great. After reading the Dresden Files, these novels, and Game of Thrones, I think I've determined the only type of fantasy I really like is urban fantasy, where wizards have to deal with magic accidentally exploding their cell phones. [livejournal.com profile] kita0610, I think you would really like Rivers of London! Peter is like a young Harry. Does LiveJournal still notify users if you mention them in a post? KITA. KITAAAAAA.

Okay. Time to stop looking at vintage watches on Etsy and get back to the damn groceries column.
hollyslowly: Lawrence of Arabia; Ali beseeches the heavens. (This is a real fuckin debacle here today)
I was so maudlin yesterday. The day after I have to take a Xanax is always such a struggle. I took one Tuesday night and spent most of Wednesday feeling very muted and sad. Today I feel clearheaded again, and I'm looking forward to really meeting our new staff person tomorrow. The three of us had dinner with her after her final interview in January, but it's hard to get to know someone still in interview mode in front of her prospective new boss.

I know I committed to getting my loans paid off by April, but I don't think I can wait that long. My job is extremely secure; I would have to steal something or show up drunk to get fired, and I would never do either of those things. So I'm doing something somewhat risky and raiding the rest of my emergency fund. I took $1200 out of it a few weeks ago to finish off my ACS loan, which knocked it down to $1700. I'm going to leave $1000 in it for, like, worst case scenario rent purposes, but everything else can go on my credit card (for points!). I don't know what that moves my payoff date to, but just doing something makes me feel better.

Even though I have no intentions of leaving this job for another 2-3 years, I also really want to work on my resume. It is patently terrible, and I have learned so much since I started here in 2012. I need to avail myself of both Internet resources and Heather.
hollyslowly: The Wire; Shardene reads the paper. (Shakespeare got to get paid son.)
I was wracked with anxiety for about an hour last night, thinking about my student loans/savings goals. I've been saving really aggressively since August, but I'm so, so tired of carrying these loans. I figured out (thank you, unbury.us) if I apply about half of what I've been saving, plus the payment for the loan I just paid off by cutting my savings in half, I can be through with this by April of next year. April, April, April. I can do this. I just have to not freak out.

Hopefully this will assuage the feeling of being stuck in place that I've had the past few months. I love my job, but it's been pretty bad. We're adding a new staff person and tackling some new initiatives, so I'm looking forward to that. The fact that fundraising is so cyclical might be the issue. I have the schedule down, I feel like I'm on top of it, so now it's just, "Oh, that again." I'm not going to cut and run.

Today I started reading The Worst Journey in the World, about an expedition to the South Pole. The author has a really wry voice, which I appreciate; in his introductory paragraph, he says,
Polar exploration is at once the cleanest and most isolated way of having a bad time which has been devised [...] As men will compare the hardships of France, Palestine, or Mesopotamia, so it would be interesting to contrast the rival claims of the Antarctic as a medium of discomfort. A member of Campbell's party tells me that the trenches of Ypres were a comparative picnic. But until somebody can evolve a standard of endurance I am unable to see how it can be done. Take it all in all, I do not believe anybody on earth has a worse time than an Emperor penguin.

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hollyslowly: TOS; Kirk looking down, Spock looking at Kirk. (Default)
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