I do not believe anybody on earth has a worse time than an Emperor penguin.

[hollyslowly]

I was wracked with anxiety for about an hour last night, thinking about my student loans/savings goals. I've been saving really aggressively since August, but I'm so, so tired of carrying these loans. I figured out (thank you, unbury.us) if I apply about half of what I've been saving, plus the payment for the loan I just paid off by cutting my savings in half, I can be through with this by April of next year. April, April, April. I can do this. I just have to not freak out.

Hopefully this will assuage the feeling of being stuck in place that I've had the past few months. I love my job, but it's been pretty bad. We're adding a new staff person and tackling some new initiatives, so I'm looking forward to that. The fact that fundraising is so cyclical might be the issue. I have the schedule down, I feel like I'm on top of it, so now it's just, "Oh, that again." I'm not going to cut and run.

Today I started reading The Worst Journey in the World, about an expedition to the South Pole. The author has a really wry voice, which I appreciate; in his introductory paragraph, he says,

Polar exploration is at once the cleanest and most isolated way of having a bad time which has been devised [...] As men will compare the hardships of France, Palestine, or Mesopotamia, so it would be interesting to contrast the rival claims of the Antarctic as a medium of discomfort. A member of Campbell's party tells me that the trenches of Ypres were a comparative picnic. But until somebody can evolve a standard of endurance I am unable to see how it can be done. Take it all in all, I do not believe anybody on earth has a worse time than an Emperor penguin.

Comments

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

I am so envious and so proud of your loan fighting abilities. You are adulting masterfully.

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, Carly, so I briefly experimented with Dreamwidth earlier this year and I was copying over the few posts I made here - in the hopes that I will LJ more - and since I made this plan in the spring, I have doubled down and I'm going to drop most of my PTO buyback on it in about two weeks and then I will be DONE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL.

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

You should feel LIBERATED from the huge frickin weight around your neck, and proud of how you are winning life.

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

I am SO excited. But also, what will I obsessively worry over and refresh now?

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

You could get a hobby. Like whittling.

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

My job is paying for me to take the training classes to become a Notary Public.

. . . Yay?

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

It's called a work-life balance, Holly. Being a notary is the lamest fun I've ever heard of.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

LOLOL!! I <3 u.

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

HEY. Hey. I mean, you're right, but I still have to go to two 3 hour classes this week, so keep that salt away from my wound.

When I was reading the textbook - it was pre-assigned homework - I got into such a groove that I kind of convinced myself that it was written with a dry sort of humor.

[carlyinrome.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Okay, I take it back. You know what bitches love? Someone who can notarize things for them. That stamp is a pussy magnet.

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

Aw yeah. I'm going to notarize everything in sight.