The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery.

[hollyslowly]

I think all the other times I thought I was having a quarter life crisis, I was wrong. Or I started having a quarter life crisis at 24, and will continue having one until some as of yet undetermined date. Which is to say, my 28th birthday is Thursday, I will be spending it at a professional conference, and I feel very sad. I might be over-exercising (?) because it is, quite frankly, the only thing that soothes my nutjob anxiety at all, so I'm giving myself a pass on it.

I've had the same job for four years, and while I truly love the fact that I've learned so many different skills and had the opportunity to be successful at the goals set for me, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure I want to do this for the rest of the life of my car loan. The problem is that I'm good at lots of things, but I am not passionate about anything. And my birthday is coming up, and I feel like I'm in exactly the same place I was in last year.

I keep thinking, "Well, grad school," but I don't know what discipline I would pursue, which means that would be a pointless waste of time and money. I looked at a job posting for my exact position, but making twice the money in a bigger city, and even though I know I could excel at that position and rake in some $$, the thought of doing the same thing BUT MORE was so disheartening. WHY CAN'T I MAKE A CHOICE ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO DO.

How did you pick your career? Did you feel a calling to do something?

I made mango-banana-Greek yogurt "ice cream," so I have that to look forward to. Man, this is grim.

Comments

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

That sounds lovely.

I have had the "fuck it, chapatis" response in the other direction, where they wouldn't fucking roll out and hold together, so I threw it all in a baking tin with some olive oil and baking powder. It was pretty good (had added mashed sweet potato and spices to the mix).

Yes! I have seen it at the super market before, so that is promising for my ability to obtain it. My grocery list is diversifying.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Ah I had the rolling out and holding together problem when I was making mine with gram/besan flour (not enough gluten to hold it together, should have put in xanthum gum but didn't know) so aggressively added an egg and made it into a pancake instead. :D

YESSSSS good good good good <3 (The book I am reading at the moment features a lot of the main character cooking 19th century Turkish food, I want to CRY for how much I want to eat most of it)

[formanymiles.livejournal.com]

NICE. My parents took pity on my use of a soda can as a rolling pin, so I got an actual rolling pin for my birthday. I feel like I must make bread tomorrow, as I am out and talking about it to you has made me hungry.

What are you reading? I've decided to blame my fucking mystery illness for me not having read a book in about two months. I have the sequel to The Devil's Detective waiting for me when my brain comes back online.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Ah! Wine bottle. ALWAYS a wine bottle.

I can't actually remember the title, but it' one of the Yashim books by Jason Goodwin. Protagonist is an actual and literal eunuch.