hollyslowly: Lawrence of Arabia; Ali beseeches the heavens. (This is a real fuckin debacle here today)
[personal profile] hollyslowly
I think all the other times I thought I was having a quarter life crisis, I was wrong. Or I started having a quarter life crisis at 24, and will continue having one until some as of yet undetermined date. Which is to say, my 28th birthday is Thursday, I will be spending it at a professional conference, and I feel very sad. I might be over-exercising (?) because it is, quite frankly, the only thing that soothes my nutjob anxiety at all, so I'm giving myself a pass on it.

I've had the same job for four years, and while I truly love the fact that I've learned so many different skills and had the opportunity to be successful at the goals set for me, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure I want to do this for the rest of the life of my car loan. The problem is that I'm good at lots of things, but I am not passionate about anything. And my birthday is coming up, and I feel like I'm in exactly the same place I was in last year.

I keep thinking, "Well, grad school," but I don't know what discipline I would pursue, which means that would be a pointless waste of time and money. I looked at a job posting for my exact position, but making twice the money in a bigger city, and even though I know I could excel at that position and rake in some $$, the thought of doing the same thing BUT MORE was so disheartening. WHY CAN'T I MAKE A CHOICE ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO DO.

How did you pick your career? Did you feel a calling to do something?

I made mango-banana-Greek yogurt "ice cream," so I have that to look forward to. Man, this is grim.

Date: 2016-10-04 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
Forty Turkish bakeries? Good god, man. Leave some for the rest of us. Though if I can't have ready access to international baked goods, at least I have YouTube.

It's honestly not that much work. Mostly a lot of waiting around whilst your home fills with the smell of warm yeast, slowly driving you mad with hunger. Uh.

I am going to try this! The shallow fry worked out great for me on my second attempt at tofuing, so you've got a solid history of recommendation. I've never used rice paper before though.

Date: 2016-10-04 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
Slight exaggeration but we're not short on them around here. Gods bless and keep Green Lanes, wherein lies a significant Turkish diaspora.

I am notoriously bad at getting bread to rise so I imagine this would try my patience somewhat more than my favourite unlevened approach of "fuck it, chapatis" (chapatis are GREAT).

Rice paper as in the stuff they use for summer rolls, I mean. And YESSSSSSS fried tofu good :D

Date: 2016-10-04 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
That sounds lovely.

I have had the "fuck it, chapatis" response in the other direction, where they wouldn't fucking roll out and hold together, so I threw it all in a baking tin with some olive oil and baking powder. It was pretty good (had added mashed sweet potato and spices to the mix).

Yes! I have seen it at the super market before, so that is promising for my ability to obtain it. My grocery list is diversifying.

Date: 2016-10-04 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
Ah I had the rolling out and holding together problem when I was making mine with gram/besan flour (not enough gluten to hold it together, should have put in xanthum gum but didn't know) so aggressively added an egg and made it into a pancake instead. :D

YESSSSS good good good good <3 (The book I am reading at the moment features a lot of the main character cooking 19th century Turkish food, I want to CRY for how much I want to eat most of it)

Date: 2016-10-05 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formanymiles.livejournal.com
NICE. My parents took pity on my use of a soda can as a rolling pin, so I got an actual rolling pin for my birthday. I feel like I must make bread tomorrow, as I am out and talking about it to you has made me hungry.

What are you reading? I've decided to blame my fucking mystery illness for me not having read a book in about two months. I have the sequel to The Devil's Detective waiting for me when my brain comes back online.

Date: 2016-10-05 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
Ah! Wine bottle. ALWAYS a wine bottle.

I can't actually remember the title, but it' one of the Yashim books by Jason Goodwin. Protagonist is an actual and literal eunuch.

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